I’ve never been outside Europe. one evening in mid December we were sitting in the comfort of our bed-wardrobe-table sublet in London and my partner popped the question (no, another one…):
– “What if we step off for few weeks to South-East-Asia?”- he asked. remember my jaw dropped quite as loud as a meteor, but did not hesitate a lot to say yes. after all, that’s what every travel-geek girl wants to hear, right?
I watched documentaries on Nat Geo and Discovery and built a picture based on what I’ve seen but when it comes to discovering it on my own, feeling the red dust on my skin, the humid air squeezing my lungs, expectations have nothing to do with reality anymore.
children can ride motorcycles before they learn to walk. anywhere you look, they are there. they are my first bonds here, I was gazing into the eyes of these laughing sweet little creatures and sinking into the feeling of timelessness. this natural human connection affected me so deeply to think the other day on what’s next? what they will become? what will happen with them? I am looking for life perspectives. the westerner mind is spinning around: the concept of self-realization means completely different here than for us (me) and I still cannot decide if that thought makes me distressed or sets me free. I am hearing them laugh at the distance and I got heavier by my thoughts.
it’s rude to stare! – we teach our children from early age and therefore, we deny their possibility to explore the world around them. but luckily children are bold enough and which they have not yet seen, they start to stare without (asking permission) getting embarrassed about it.
no two faces are alike, but for an Asian child, my European white female characteristics could give some reasons to observe, mainly at first time. my facial features and expressions are uncommon here, my body image and the body language I use also can be challenging to read. experiencing diversity at a young age is not about race or gender, but more likely about behaviour and belonging – how can I connect to what I see? does it feel familiar or not?
we exchange glances for a moment on the bus, and I feel the curious eyes of both children and adults on my body as I stroll along the streets too. NYC based Heidi Latsky’s integrated dance company leap to my mind. their On Display art movement is a living gallery of individuals who create a peaceful environment for observing different body images. no make ups, nail polish or fancy dresses, just their plain selves displayed fully in the present moment. I am also a moving sculpture here and acknowledging it had supported me to embrace much easier the insecurities and discomforts I’ve been sensed. to let being stared at and to holding the space for the “viewers” to approach me has also allowed me to connect more smoothly to my innermost character and through that to the (wo)man in the street. as a highly sensitive person it has also taught me the importance of keeping distance while I am getting closer day by day, and to set my personal boundaries. these borders should not limit me, instead being the backbones of my leading principals as a responsible traveller. feeling at home in a new culture, respecting all its customs and traditions while you strive to keep your authenticity is a tricky one. in particular in a country where you- who has been raised not to be ashamed of your body- are advised to wear modest clothes – cover the shoulders and knees, not only in holy places but wherever I go…
Wikipedia says: women in Cambodia expected to be modest, soft-spoken, well-mannered, act as the family’s caregivers and caretakers, maintain virginity until marriage and become faithful wives.
-In public schools they still continue to teach excerpts from Chbab Srey, the moral code for women, which amongst others instruct them to walk lightly, serve and satisfy their husbands – Catherine Harry, Cambodian feminist blogger shares in an interview.
there has been little change in the situation of women’s rights and gender equality, concrete steps need to be taken by the government mainly on the fields of education and there has to be a safe space for women to speak up, share their fears, concerns, stories, experiences.
as a woman born and raised in Europe with a fare different value system and metrics, I witnessed with great curiosity the lives of Cambodian women. while I sometimes was annoyed by being an unmarried, over 30 woman who lives in a country where my womb turned to the topic on everyone’s lips, here I faced with a society which stipulates special rules for women. there is still work to be done, but it so rewarding to see that female empowerment in Cambodia is on a slow rise:
I want to be a woman who has ownership of my life. I have a strong passion for seeing young women present their dream because I have a dream as well rather than arrange marriage in young age.
Fang chompey, representative of charay ethnic
